Consider now the walrus. Why, you may ask, the walrus? The
walrus, my friends, is a criminally overlooked household fixture. Many pay no
heed to their walrus, save to toss it an occasional dish of scraps. But I am
here to tell you: The walrus is a versatile beast!
What, you now ask, can a walrus do? Many things, my friends,
many things.
Do you lack a can opener? A walrus tusk, properly sharpened,
will do the job! Do you require a place to store notes? Pin them to your
walrus’ blubbery flank!
