Heretical Babblings: Something Krampus Snow Titles Are Hard!

Hello again. I'm catching up on sleep and video games and the next section of The Walking Fella, so have some more vomitings from my sugar-highing brain.

Last night—well, this morning—I beat Borderlands 2. Honestly, not super impressed by the last houror two. The final mission took things from a fun shooty looty game to a mind-numbing slog. And don't even get me started on the final boss. It was like fighting the Rakk Hive, only with ten times more health and slightly more effective attacks. Not fun. Just boring. It took me about twenty minutes of standing and tanking hit after hit while firing at the glowing weak spot to crush the thing. Here's hoping the DLC fares better.

The Walking Fella in Hell: Heretical Murmurings

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,

The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes

Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,

He meandered past my window in that devilish fog, chanting quietly to himself in some heathen tongue. Doctor Henniway told me all about the walking fellow and his murderous ways. Shameful that in a civilized society men should still be killing men over trifles. And now Sheriff Hedge had gone mad and shot the little Vandeusen boy. Such a terrible shame. All this violence. Most certainly caused by the walking fellow. He had brought trouble with him to this little town—though we have long deserved chastisement for our sinful name. Blasphemy and pride! It has called down ruin upon us! 

The Walking Fella in Hell: Whiskey Exorcism

In a world so unforgiving

You mean more to me each every day

So may the living be dead in our wake

He sat at my bar, down at the end, as far from daylight as possible. What the hell was he—Festus got it started calling him the walking fella—doing in my bar? Besides paying too much for rotgut whiskey and pouring it over his head, that is. Occasionally he drank some. But most of it went into the sawdust by his feet. A big damp pile of sawdust.

Heretical Babblings: Winter Has Come

Hello and welcome to the inside of my skull. Don’t mind the clutter! I’ll clean the place out someday. Someday. It’s been a busy couple of weeks, as I’m about to enter finals territory and it’s cold cold cold. But still, I’ve carved out some time to read a couple books and watch some TV and just generally be a lazy bugger. So here’s the scoop on what’s been floating around in my head lately. I’ve slapped this together with absolutely no concern as to narrative flow or any of that jim-jam. Deal with it. Also there’s no pictures. Deal with it, I sez.

The Walking Fella in Hell: Ishtar and Judas

I will smash the door-posts, I will force the doors.

I will bring up the dead to eat the living.

And the dead will outnumber the living.

I reckon he’d been hauling that saddle for days when he found Hell. In the sweltering Sunday heat he stunk like the grave. An’ his white duster was stained with enough dirt and blood to make him look like the dead risen again. Mebbe he was. The unliving walking through Hell.

The First Delvers: A Stonepeople Creation Myth

(Just a little something inspired by 4Chan's traditional games board. I might actually make a story/novel out of it someday, but for now, there's this.)

"In the beginning, there was stone. And the god looked upon it, and saw it was good. And the good stretched out his hand to carve the stone in the image of male and female. Finishing his work, the god breathed life into the stone, and the stone moved and lived. These were Snorri and Sif, first of the Stonepeople. And the god blessed them, sending them forth to delve. And they delved, and it was good. They procreated, and it was good. In time, the Stonepeople flourished, and it was good.

Consider the Walrus: A Salesman's Monologue

Consider now the walrus. Why, you may ask, the walrus? The walrus, my friends, is a sadly overlooked household fixture. Many are those who pay no heed to their walrus, save to toss it an occasional dish of scraps. But I say to you: The walrus is a versatile beast!

5/4/13 Reviews: WHY LORD WHY?

Hello, world. Welcome to the first review collection here at Geekery and Madness. Below, you will find short little dissections of whatever I've managed to read/watch/whatever over the last week (a little more, since my internet was down.) And for those who are new to my reviewing style, there are three "grades": Yeh, Meh, and Neh. Yeh is for things I enjoyed wholeheartedly. Meh is for things that were okay, but nothing special, things that could have reached Yeh status, but had one too many flaws. Neh, obviously, is bad. As in, don't waste your time bad. Sometimes other ratings will show up, but those are the main three. Now! On to reviewing!

Freedom Hangs Like Heaven. Or a Plumb-Bob

(Just a little semi-fictional story I've wanted to get off my chest for a long time. All names changed to protect the not-so-innocent.)

“Greg, since you’re paying so much attention to me, what’s a plumb-bob?”

My head snaps up, tearing my gaze away from the funny cat .gif on my computer. Kittens are hilarious. And cute… “Say what?”

A (Communist?) Manifesto

Last week, I made a deal. Not with the devil (that was last YEAR), but with myself. I'm going to improve who I am, in a lot of different ways. Work out. Read about science and technology and legal issues. Write more--a lot more. You know, the standard New Year's resolutions.

There was one major thing I vowed, though. I'm going to burn through all my accumulated media detritus. The books, the games, the movies, the music, the comics, in their digital and physical forms. It all adds up. Dead weight in my life. It's time to trim down. So I'm going to consume every last bit of my media. All of it. There's a lot. Not only that, but I'm going to chronicle the task.

Now. It's pretty presumptuous to for me to believe anyone will want to read this blog. But, well... I'm crazy, okay?

So this is it. This here chunk of electronic real estate is where I'll record what I'm up to. Maybe someone will read it. Maybe not. Doesn't matter to me.

Don't expect perfection--I'm not doing this for money. Or for fame, or any of that stuff. I'm doing this because I can. Because some dumb part of me wants to leave a little mark on the world. Maybe this is my way. Who knows?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the ride. I plan to.

--Greg