Saturday, June 25, 2016

Backlog Blitz: Genesis, Week Eight, "Bad Games Make Me...GROWL"

Have you ever considered that life is meaningless? Me neither. Hahaha. Let's talk about games.

Gauntlet 4

More or less it's a mediocre copy of Gauntlet. I don't think there's anything diffrerent from the original game...

Golden Axe

Well, it's better than the Master System version. But it's still pretty bad. It's just clunky, even compared to contemporary sidescrolling beatemups


Wow. This is... This is something else in terms of poor quality. A, I'm 100% sure that the main characters are all ripoffs of licensed characters like Indiana Jones. B, the enemy types make no sense--women in business suits and NINJAS? And C, it's a bad game.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Consume, the Journal of a Dreamwalker: Twelfth Dognacht and Forty-Seventh Totemphatht

Days pass, then weeks. I cloister myself in the garret lodging, emerging only to eat or replenish the supply of titan-self. Though magnificent vistas and glorious sights reveal themselves unto me, none are my own dreamcity of youth. 

But as time slips past, I find I no longer care whether I rediscover my childhood haunt. Rather, it seems paramount that the dead titan’s memory be recorded. I delve deeper into the titan-self, purchasing not just from the first deiphagist woman, but from many vendors in back alleys and side streets. The power of a titan sears my mind day and night. And yet. And yet, when I put pen to paper in order that the titan might be revered, all words fail. The experience of titanhood cannot be translated into mere mortal words.

My money runs low. Already I forgo meals for more titan-self. Try as I might, no words flow. At the same time, the memory of my dreamcity has faded until only the vaguest impression of that crystalline inverted palace remain. 

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Backlog Blitz: Genesis, Week Seven, "Frog Gargoyles From Gaiares"

Yeah, I don't even have an introduction for this. Alright? Happy now? Bah. I just want to eat ice cream and garlic bread. Because food makes me happy. Food is my bestest friend. I love food. Unlike these games, which are mostly just lackluster. Seriously, Sega. Get your act together.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Consume, the Journal of a Dreamwalker: Sixty-Eighth and Seventy-Fourth Faroe

Again and again I delve into the soul of a dead titan, searching for that elusive dreamcity I once called home. Days and nights crawl by, swifter than any bird yet never-ending as infinity. The chunk of titan-self grows small. I dread lest some other seeker find my dreamcity first and profane it with their presence. More titan-self is needed.

Every journey to that deiphagist woman’s shop fills me with revulsion. In each passerby’s visage I see malignant marks of deiphagy. These base creatures dine on the great luminous being whose memories I have lived. Unknowing, unheeding, they desecrate a being more glorious than the sun. Knaves. After I find my dreamcity, I will preserve the life of this titan. I will write down each event, each miracle, each great feat. It will be a new epic. A new Gilgamesh, a new Iliad.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Poem Tuesday: "Mega Bloks"

Knock-off Lego:
That's how my life feels sometimes.
None of the pieces fit together quite right.

Monday, June 13, 2016

Music Roundup Monday: "The Last Trump"

So I think this might be the last MRM I post for a while. I'm scraping the bottom of my music discovery barrel at the moment, and, honestly... I'm tired. Life and depression have been beating me over the head at the moment, and while I'll be fine in the long run, I need to scale back how much energy I spend on the less-important aspects of the blog for a while. I'm thinking that I'll drop down to 2-3 longer posts a week rather than 3-4 longer posts and 3-4 shorter posts. I don't know yet, though. Anyway. Music. 

Dire Straits - "Sultans of Swing"

Mark Knopfler - "All That I Have in the World"

Children 18:3 - "Samantha"

Pink Floyd - "Time"

Judas Priest - "United"

Sweet - "Ballroom Blitz"

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Backlog Blitz: Genesis, Week Six, "Ex-Mutants? More Like...Yeah, I Got Nothing."

It has been a hectic, tiring, ugly week. So let's talk about hectic, tiring, ugly video games! This can't possibly contribute to my spiraling depression and desire to take a long walk off a short pier! No siree! Hahahahahahahahaha ha ha... ha...... ha.......... haaaa......

Friday, June 10, 2016

Consume, the Journal of a Dreamwalker: Nineteenth Faroe

A deiphagist accosted me as I wandered blindly near the abattoir mines wherein the city finds its sustenance. Ducking through a beaded curtain of knucklebones, I found myself facing the first female deiphagist I had ever met. The males of the deiphagists are fish-belly pale, their faces misshapen and lopsided, and their arms stretch almost to the knee. This female, and all others I subsequently encountered, was corpse-grey, and though their facial structure is often distorted, it is not to the extent of the male deiphagists. This creature’s husband, it appeared, was one of the flesh-miners toiling not far distant. She informed me that often these miners uncovered dim chunks of some crystalline but malleable material. As the chunks were not the flesh on which they dined nor the bone with which they built, the miners ignored their discovery at first. But one enterprising worker brought out a fist-sized lump and displayed it at market, where a traveler recognized pure memory of a titan. For titans are unlike the beings which serve them. Their memories and their deeds become intrinsically part of their physical form, just as they are sustained and grow ever stronger from the offerings of their slaves.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Consume, the Journal of a Dreamwalker: Seventy-Fourth Luong

At last the labyrinth streets of Akhule Otimnhir swallowed me up with a sigh, and I walked alleys and thoroughfares as a Buddhist walks a mandala. In contemplation I sought to regain those long-dormant childhood dreamlands whence my scintillating dreamcity had come. All that lingered from those carefree days was a memory of an inverted crystalline palace, balanced on its central spire. So much I could see clearly. But remembrance is not the same as experience, and I greatly desired to dwell in that dreamcity once again.

As any Dreamer knows, all forgotten dreamworlds drift slowly into the Void-Between-Voids and rest there for eternity and a day. A dedicated explorer might step among the dusty creations of young Einstein, or wander the twisted hallways and unnatural geometry which Hitler once imagined. I had no such lofty goals. All my desire was bound up in that diamantine palace, to stand at its peak once again and look over my lands.

At times I stood in Akhule Otimnhir’s five-cornered squares watching crowds swirl by, charting patterns of infinite complexity. Exported Victorians haggled with native deiphagists, ethereal beings glided past crinoid things, all interacting in a grim pavotte orchestrated by the pipe of dreams. For even the Void-Between-Voids, the absence of all existence, is subject to the whims of the blind idiot piper. Though in many worlds Azathoth remains unknown, in the Void-Between-Voids some offer prayers and incense to deepen his slumber while others seek realms beyond all thought in hopes they will be beyond his reach. It is in the shops and libraries of such escapists I hoped to find a trace of my childhood dreamcity.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Wandery Wednesday: "Vidja"

I'm tired of video games. Not because I don't enjoy them! I loved Dark Souls III. I love Darkest Dungeon. There are so so so many games that I love. I can't even begin to list them all. But equally, there are games that I don't enjoy. That aren't fun. And I'm sick of wasting time on them. Fallout 4. I love the Fallout series. I even enjoyed Fallout 4 for a while. But I tried returning to it the other day's I've been feeling that way about games a lot lately. The most fun I've had was playing Dark Souls III co-op with coworkers and friends. I guess the social aspect is more important than it used to be? I don't know. All I know is that all I do these days is eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed, watch YouTube until I fall asleep, rinse, repeat. I should read more. Or write. Or something. I'm just...tired. Anyway. I don't know where I'm going with this. Goodbyeeeeee!

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Poem: "Who Put Bella in the Wych-Elm?"

Pin an asphodel to your dress:
We'll dance together at Prospero's masque,
Gliding and wheeling
As if you were a great red bird.
And the wind in the wych-elm
Will wail and moan.
Oh Bella, give me your hand.
Oh Bella, let's go home.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

There's a story behind this poem. Not a very happy one. 

Monday, June 6, 2016

Music Roundup Monday: "I'm Good and Hostile, and I'll Make the Accusation"

Every day I read the news and see stories about rape. And it enrages me. I'm not a particularly good person. I'm creepy, prone to anger, involved in hobbies that deal with subject material that can get pretty heavy/dark. (All I'm missing is a neckbeard, fedora, and trenchcoat to round out the "generic crime show villain" checklist).  And yet, SOMEHOW, I've managed not to sexually assault anybody. That's a pretty low bar. And yet. Every day I see men who fail even that low requirement for basic human decency. And I wonder to myself if being devoured by Dread Cthulhu is be too good for these vile wastes of flesh. But you came here to listen to music. Let's do that instead. Otherwise I'm gonna want a shower and I already took one. 

Ryan Adams - "Blossom"

Bad Religion - "Voice of God is Government"

Billy Bragg and Wilco - "Eisler On the Go"

King Buzzo - "Good and Hostile"

Nico Vega - "Beast"

Ayreon - "The Accusation"

Slough Feg - "Tiger! Tiger!"

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Cool Stuff Sunday: "Aulde Englishe"

It's been two days since I spilled laundry detergent and I can still smell that powdery horror on EVERYTHING. It's choking me. Agh. Anyway. You're here to hear about cool stuff on the interwebz. Let's hit it!

It's amazing how much better Dark Souls III pvp looks without lag...

Pokemon Sun and Moon yasssssss.

How far back in time could you go and still understand English? Probably about 600 years, tops.

But if you spoke Fresian, probably further.

Oh, and Shakespeare sounds a lot better in the original pronunciation.

Emilia Clarke does reggae. It's great.

Vans has a Nintendo line now. Yes please.

Wired won't get me to whitelist their ads anytime soon.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Backlog Blitz: Genesis, Week Five, "The Wrong Kind of Doom Trooper"

Well this week went better than it had the potential to. So let's talk about games that went WORSE than they had the potential to. I'm not sure that my previous two sentences actually make sense but whatever. I'm hopped up on sugar and I DON'T CAAAAAAAARE!!!!! WOO!

Friday, June 3, 2016

Consume, the Journal of a Dreamwalker: Twenty-Second Luong

Searching for that childhood dreamcity, I stepped out from the eighty-first gate of the City of Countless Doors into the Void-Between-Voids, and there I saw much which has been forgotten throughout history, and still more which was never learnt.

Cadaver-titanss wallow there, cosmic beings lost to memory before our civilizations were conceived. In the lee of such fallen titans, massless hordes ebb and flow, their cities anthills upon an elephant’s corpse. Eons flow past and yet these long-abandoned corpses linger on, ravaged but enduring. Many memories and nightmares stalk such deiphagist cities, last remnants of souls haunting those who inhabit their remains. Consuming the flesh of a titan even a dead one, is a perilous act, and to huddle in the aura of unimaginable power brings awareness of cosmic secrets vaster than living minds may safely comprehend.

For an unguessable age I wandered amongst the whiteness of the void, searching for the dreamcity of my youth. My footfalls echoed in temples built before the first human left the cradle of Africa, pleasure-palaces of beings even the most ancient of races knew not, cities which were to Olympus as Xanadu is to London, vistas of such exquisite beauty that even my  memories of mother and wife and child greyed in comparison. But still my dreamcity called to my soul and I wandered on.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Consume, the Journal of a Dreamwalker: Seventh July

As a child, I was sickly. A frail constitution, inherited from my father, plagued me into my early teens. I spent many weeks confined to my bed by racking coughs or fever or any number of other ailments. No doubt my parents worried about me a great deal.  

But early on I discovered the secret of dreaming, of stepping into worlds created by the unconscious mind and taking control. The fashion now is to refer to such a practice as lucid dreaming, but at the time I encountered the idea in a popular weird fiction magazine, it was merely known as Dreaming. The capital stood for the control one influenced over the imagined worlds. Dreaming was my escape from countless pokes and concoctions from doctors and faith healers. Indeed, I spent so much time in the lands of sleep that I constructed a city therein, a glimmering city of gold and precious jewels, inhabited by all the heroes and adventures of my waking reading. Conan the Barbarian resided there, and Tarzan, and Sherlock Holmes, all the idols of a sickly boy, alongside my sometime friends and playmates and, later, girls whom I admired from afar. 

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Wandery Wednesday: "Troubleshoot"

I am a troubleshooter. I see trouble, and then I shoot it. Really, though, a large portion of my job, and IT in general, revolves around figuring out root causes. Fixing things is easy. It's figuring out what the issue is that's the hard part. Well, that's true for the most part. Our company conferences, for example. The audio quality is always abysmal. Well, the cause is obvious: We have a terrible audio provider for our remote locations. But fixing that is hard--contracts are difficult to break. Other times, the problem is weird or complex (laptops are freezing after a patch is applied) and the solution is super-simple (turn the laptop off, despite the warnings saying DON'T TURN OFF THE LAPTOP). I'm not sure what my point is here. Maybe that sometimes IT work is simple and other times it's complex? That's...a bit...obvious. Maybe life is the same? Also pretty obvious. I don't know. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?