Monday, November 24, 2014

Backlog Blitz: NES, Week 5, "Seizure Time!"


It's been one of those weeks. I just got done with a twenty-hour project reading articles, taking notes, scribbling ideas, and finally writing a research proposal. The topic? Player agency and the Gothic in Dark Souls. I'm pretty excited. But also very tired. Anyway, I played some games this week. And reviewed them for your pleasure. Or boredom. Whatever. I'm too tired to care, honestly. Research is not my strong suit. It burns me out very quickly, and I struggle to narrow things down to a reasonable level. All the same, I enjoy finding out new things and coming up with new interpretations. 

Crystalis
This is syfy The Legend of Zelda, basically, or post-apocalyptic ditto. Maybe both. Which is cool, yanno. The controls and combat impressed me—very similar to Legend of Zelda. But the sound… not so much. Gave me such a headache I had to quit. I’d describe the chiptunes as STROBING MUSICAL SEIZURE-INDUCERS but that would sound melodramatic. After all, I only convulsed and drooled a little bit, and the splitting migraine only lasted for five hours. I think this would be fun. If you muted it. 

Cobra Triangle
Well, well, well. This is quite the varied little boat racing game. Different challenges and such—capture the flag, win the race, kill the sea monster, defend the swimmers, etc. This would be a lot of fun with two players, I bet. I still enjoyed it, obviously, but this is the kind of game where you want a rival to punch in the shoulder. The controls are good, and for once a slight tankiness/floatiness makes sense. This is a boat, after all, and they don’t exactly make 180 degree turns in 1/6 of a second. One problem, which I think arises from a bad ROM, is that there’s a constant static/engine noise that’s very loud and very annoying. I half-wonder this noise is meant to be the boat’s engine, but somehow I doubt it. Just seems unlikely, sounding more like a speaker flaw.

Contra
Surprise, surprise, I’m awful at Contra. I mean, who could have seen that coming from the guy who can’t beat the first stage of Castlevania? Doesn’t diminish my love for this baby, though. One of the greatest NES games, in my not-very-humble opinion. The multi-directional shooting, the necessary combination of tactical shooting with the occasional need to just MOVE MOVE MOVE GET OUT OF THE BULLETS… It’s like a bullet-hell run-and-gun shmup paradise thing. And with a turbo controller… Oh man. I can fire SO MANY SHOTGUN BURSTS. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO ONE CAN OUTSMART BOOLEET. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! RUN BABIES, RUN! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Next week: Deja Vu, a detective point-and-click; Demon Sword, a fantasy RPG; and a bunch of Donkey Kongs!