Monday, December 1, 2014

Backlog Blitz: NES, Week 6, "On Like Donkey Kong"

Happy Cyber Monday, as our corporate overlords have designated today! I spent Thanksgiving break writing a thesis paragraph for that paper on Dark Souls. Okay, I actually spent Thanksgiving break playing The Binding of Isaac and CS:GO, but that doesn't sound as studious. Anyway, I played some other games as well, for your edification and gratification.

On a related note, was Donkey Kong originally meant as a catch-all for every game that they needed a franchise for but didn't want to invent a new one? Because the overall game mechanics change so drastically between the NES titles... 

Déjà Vu
Oh, man. Amnesia as plot device. Classic noir-esque mystery game material. The music…It’s so…good! It sounds like a noir detective movie’s soundtrack had a baby with chiptunes—A bit bluesy, a bit swingy, a bit electronic. And a reference to The Big Sleep! Nice! I like it. It’s a point-and-click puzzle adventure game, which, while cool, doesn’t exactly lend itself to the NES. Right now I don’t want to fiddle with rather slow and clunky controls, but I’ll come back to this, with whiskey and a cigar and a .45 automatic on my desk. Maybe a trenchcoat and fedora too. (My neckbeard is sufficiently long for that.)

Demon Sword
Well. You know that scene in martial arts movie where a character files through treetops or vaults across roofs like a maniac? Demon Sword watched those scenes and became them. Seriously. I beat entire levels by jumping through treetops to the boss. IT’S AWESOME. Also, based on the outfit and weapon, I’m playing as a woman, which is cool, yo. I don’t know if the gimmick would get old, but at first blush, it’s amazing just to jump like a drug-hyped magic ninja through forests. 

Donkey Kong
I…die from falling the same height I can jump? Wut. I suck at this. Yeah. It just feels very stiff, even compared to the relatively contemporary Mario Bros. (The one in the sewers, not the sidescrolling platformer). I dunno… This is a classic, but I’m not a fan. Maybe the arcade versions are smoother?

Donkey Kong 3
I…What am I doing. There’s bees and a giant ape and…snakes? And I have a smoke gun? WHAT.

Donkey Kong Jr.
Primate slavery and child endangerment. Such fun. Actually better than the other two Donkey Kong games, so that’s a plus, I guess.