Sunday, February 15, 2015

Backlog Blitz: NES, Week 15, "Metal Gear Storm's Metroid Punch-Out!"

Okay, that title didn't work out how I wanted it to. Whatever. I've been playing Guacamelee this week. It's pretty fun. That and Darkest Dungeons have consumed my weekend. In particular, I like Darkest Dungeon's Mike Mignola-esque art style. But I also played some NES games. And wrote things about them.

Metal Gear
Okay. Oookay. I feel like stealth should be an option here but—AH THERE’S A DOBERMAN PINSCHER EATING MY BUTTOCKS ARGH! *respawn* “I feel asleep” “!” *respawn* Come on, there’s plenty of room to slip by this truck. *respawn* THERE HAS TO BE AN ARC OF AWARENESS FOR THESE DOGS! DON’T THEY EVER PUT THEIR HEADS DOWN OR SOMETHING? *respawn* Oh hey I made it to the next are—“!” “!” “!” Crud. *respawn* Well, I really like the ideas here, but this is REALLY hard and I’m not sure if it’s intentional or just an unhappy accident. 

Metal Storm
THIS IS AWESOME. YOU GUYS. I’m a giant mech shooting at other giant mechs and I can flip gravity and stuff! It’s fast-paced with some puzzle-platformer bits thrown in and there’s Contra-style bosses and also my giant mech can only get shot 1 time (2 with an upgrade) and I’M A GIANT MECH DID I SAY THAT ALREADY? The gravity-switching is well-implemented, and, though inexplicable, doesn’t feel like a gimmick. I love that, like Kid Icarus, Metal Storm plays with the fourth wall a bit by letting me switch gravity and drop off the screen back through the top or vice-versa. The controls are buttery-smooth, the graphics are great, and the sound is good, though the guns sound a bit weird. This is a TON of fun. Especially the weird looping aspect to the levels I talked about earlier. You have to pick the best approach, and that’s what adds the puzzle aspect. This is a TON of fun.

Well, I don’t claim to be GOOD at Metroid, but I love it all the same. Combat is great, especially the weapon variety and BEING ABLE TO SHOOT UP. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, MEGA MAN. Exploring is fun and ominous, especially with the creepy music and graphics lending a sense of oppressive loneliness. I think you could argue that Metroid is a Gothic game in a way, but I don’t feel like making that argument here. I’m lazy like that. This is a masterpiece, though, and I don’t throw that term around too lightly. Suffice to say that out of the 140+ games I downloaded for the NES (out of a possible 1K or so), this is one of about 20 I’ve actually kept so far. I'm willing to try a lot of games, but what I consider worth keeping is a much smaller pool.

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!
Heh. Punching people is fun! In games, too. But the crowd noise in this…it sounds like demonic laughter run through a crackly speaker. I’m wondering why Mario is reffing a boxing match, and why Little Mac is TEENY compared to everyone else. I know he’s supposed to be like 5 feet tall, but this is kind of ridiculous. The controls are simple and solid, the graphics are good… A fun game. Not too much to say about this.

Look for an Assassin's Creed review sometime this week. Whenever I get my lazy bum around to typing it up.