Before dinner, I headed out to the abandoned parking lot nearby. The weather's warmish today, but autumn is here, and the chill is coming. So I dragged out the skateboard and had myself the last skate session of the year. Probably. Barring an Indian summer.
That kind of kicked up my melancholy, though. Last time skateboarding for the year... I love autumn. It's probably my favorite season--very Gothic, very moody and atmospheric. But all the same, my depression seems to flare up a bit when this time of year rolls 'round. I think it's because autumn is a time of endings, of drawing to a close. I start to think about friendships that have slipped away, about missed opportunities, about paths less traveled by. And so on. I'm not bitter. I'm rarely bitter. I'm just...a bit sad. As a wise person once said, "Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness..."
