Saturday, April 9, 2016

Backlog Blitz: Master System, Week Seven, "Psycho Fox Does Not Psycho Rock"

Ah, Saturday. Lovely Saturday. For you, it was the sixth day of the week. For me, it was just another Saturday. Go get some Swedish Fish and let's talk about awful old games.


Montezuma’s Revenge Featuring Panama Joe

So you know how, in pretty much any game, you can drop from at LEAST your character’s height without dying? You can’t do that in Montezuma’s Revenge Featuring Panama Joe. Fill in how awful the rest of the game is from there. I quit. I’m out. I’m done.

Mortal Kombat

The Master System is literally not powerful enough to run this game competently. It’s been downsampled, degraded, and generally stripped of everything that makes Mortal Kombat good.

Ninja Gaiden

Well, I’m not sure where this fits in Ninja Gaiden canon, but this isn’t half-bad. The music is a bit obnoxious, but the controls, graphics, and gameplay are all competently-executed clones of the NES Ninja Gaiden. Props. 

Paperboy

I fail to see the inherent entertainment value in this game.

Predator 2

I don’t even care anymore. This is the worst.

Prince of Persia

I think this game in all its original incarnations would bother me much less if it weren’t so trial-and-error. Like, could I at least not look down pits to see if I can survive the fall? That wouldn’t be much, and it would make things far less frustrating… Other than that I like this game. 

Psycho Fox

Aside from sounding like a Metal Gear Solid villain, this game is the furry version of Mario. Only with terrible controls, ripped-from-Mario graphics, terrible music, and a jump that’s stiffer than the titanium plate in my head.