Saturday, February 27, 2016

Backlog Blitz: Master System, Week One, "Fun is Alien to These Games"

Another day, another old system's catalog of games to explore... Truly, the life of a bored twenty-something with a tendency towards reclusiveness is filled with excitement! Or maybe disappointment. Could go either way. Anyway! Sega Master System. It's a thing. The Genesis is better. And the NES/SNES are better still. Yeah, I said it. Fite me after skool. 

Alien Storm

Wow. This is… This is a side-scrolling action shooter devoid of any action. Seriously. It’s…boring. That’s all. Controls are alright, sound is a bit obnoxious, graphics are alright, but the gameplay is…snoozeworthy. Seriously. 

Alien Syndrome

What is it with NES/Master System Games with “Alien” in their title? None of them are good. NONE. Of them. NONE. Graphics, poor. Controls, tankish. Sound, atrocious. Gameplay, lacking. Seriously. Just…how do you make a game this…unfun?

Astro Warrior

It’s a competent-enough top-down space shmup. Controls are solid, music is okay, graphics are okay, gameplay is okay. It’s nothing groundbreaking, but it’s enjoyable enough, I guess. 

Aztec Adventure: 
The Golden Road to Paradise

Look. Words do not do this game’s utter banality justice. Everything about it is so…mediocre, that I can’t find an adequate way to express just how…absent any feelings of enjoyment or dislike were while playing this game. This is a game made by someone who understands the mechanics of a game, but doesn’t understand that games should be fun. An alien with no concept of personal enjoyment would make this game. It’s…Utterly. Bland.